Livin' Fast in Black City

What the hell? What's the deal? You can't fight me, I'm in a city, this is a residential area, not the unrealisitc backwater countryside of every Pokemon region the world over! We never used to battle like this back in Pallet Town.

I just wandered into Black City like a lost cowboy, a berg so badly named that it ought to be populated only with film-noir detectives and sci-fi gun-slingers; the kind who keep to themself.
Indeed it would be a miracle if people would keep to themselves here in Black City. Every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to battle me! I wasn't expecting this because previous to now, that wasn't allowed. I always presumed that no battling happened in towns because of the damage it caused! Isn't that what the Pokemon gyms are for? The first three people I spoke to insisted on battling me upon my arrival and every time I thought the previous one had been a one off fluke - but apparently it's a thing, it's a fad. When I finally dragged my Gigalith back to the Pokemon Centre I half expected Nurse Joy to throw herself across the counter and unleash a furious Chansey on my ass (which no one likes to see happen).

Anyway, it's not right. People could have been hurt. I don't get Black City. It's too big. The camera is zoomed out. What's its game, what's its angle? I wonder if the people who own Pokemon White are having more fun than me in that bloody gigantic forest...sigh...I bet it's wonderful there! Much better than this sterile, nightmare that has all the personality of an iPad.


I couldn't accurately put this on a background of Black City, clearly...but the message is clear. I'm vain, so the original is below.