ELITE Four?

[I wrote this at the beginning of the month but hadn't posted it yet so that you could gradually enjoy my days in the Unova region building up to it; however, my patience has worn thin and I haven't posted in a while, so here's a key Pokemon issue.]

What is going on? Back in my day, if you went waltzing up to the Elite Four as soon as you were physically able to, you would eventually get yo ass handed to you. You had to go away and train up your pokemon by some way before you could get all the way through and beat the Champion. Alright, I know Bruno was pretty awful...anyone who thinks they are a member of the Elite Four with two Onix in their squad, needs to take a good, long, look at themselves. In fairness though, he was a tougher cookie in Heart Gold.

My point is, surely the Elite Four of the Unova region are imposters? They were awful! By which I mean, easy as hell to beat. The same goes for every single gym leader, the most challenging of them perhaps being Clay, marginally. Perhaps if they had all spent less time on their impressive, automated bloody gyms and rooms and more time training their Pokemon to something beyond level 50, like the Elite Four of old used to do, then I'd have been marginally challenged. The Elite Four didn't knock out one of my Pokemon. Geez.

Do you remember how difficult it used to be and how much thought you had to put into things? Getting the Boulder Badge from Brock in Pokemon Red&Blue was miles harder than any of the big battles in Pokemon Black&White. Try beating a Geodude AND an Onix with only a Pidgey and a Charmander and you'll know what I'm talking about Willis. Consider the reverse fixture in Pokemon Black&White - the first gym leader, or leaders, are more concerned with teaching you that fire beats grass and dressing up like waiters than actually beating you at a pokemon contest. Oh, sorry guys, I beat you VERY easily, now get me a coffee.



Even my rivals and friends were terrible! I soon realised that all this talk from N and Ghetis about taking over the world was somewhat premature, considering the best Ghetis could muster was a level fifty Bouffalant and a level fifty-three Bisharp, which is one of the stupidest looking Pokemon to date, unless you like the Power Rangers. And also if you don't, but Bisharp just happens to look like the Red Ranger.

So in conclusion, as I sit here now as the Champion, I put it to the world that the Unova region is a child's playground. While moving bridges, online cities and rustling grass are all well and good, the Unova region might do better to bring in some competent Pokemon trainers, that could at least once send me scurrying to the Pokemon Centre. I dread to think what will happen when I migrate my Infernape, Octillery and Slaking over - HELL. THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN, ALL HELL, BROKEN LOOSE, ARGH.