Don't play coy with me tubby, I see right through you, I know, that you know, what the Entralink does. I on the other hand, don't know exactly and it was a long time into my journey that I realised I could pretty much go there any time...or maybe it was only open to me once I had beaten the Elite Four or something, I don't know.
Anyway, it was with much trepidation and excitement that I accessed; The Entralink! Now, there was some confusion here for me, straight off the bat. I couldn't work out if the Entralink waaas, a computer programme, a city, a place, a game mode, a method of communication, or what - it was all incredibly vague and I hope that my fellow trainers aren't currently asking why I didn't open up the manual. No self respecting trainer needs the manual.
So, I think I must have "accessed" the Entralink, but I might also have walked or got into a state of zen, I'm not sure, but apparently "CHAZ warped to the Entralink".
And what I do know is that through the C-Gear and some blurry, wobbly screen action akin to a character flash-back, I suddenly appeared in a grassy clearing. An old man had this to say on my situation:
"First, cross a bridge in the Entralink, and go to someone's world. There must be someone who is waiting for you there".
He refused to offer me any other help beyond that and I couldn't help but feel that it was pretty presumptuous to say that '...someone must' be waiting for me there; I mean what if they weren't? I found the bridge just across the way and a sort of hand-maiden shed yet more light on where I was and what I was supposed to be doing here:
"This bridge will connect to someone else's world".
So, I guessed that it must be a bridge to Twitter, or an MTV documentary series, or something. I thought, screw it, let's go and stepped, onto, the bridge!
I tried to cross into a wall of light and was told that I wasn't connected to any other worlds yet. So, for my money, there was already a lot of falsed advertising going on amongst not only the residents of this weird pastoral Entralink neighbourhood, but also throughout the supersticious residents of Unova.
There was another bridge on the other side of the grassy area that proved just as fruitless.
Slightly above where I arrived there was a forest.
"The Entree Forest..." said the handmaiden on the door "...connects dreams and reality. People say dreams come true here". I started rubbing my hands together, expecting to find on the other side of this forest:
(a) Glastonbury
(b) An opium den
(c) My own hareem
(d) All of the above
I went inside and there was absolutely tit all in there. Nadda, nothing. Not a dicky bird. All this bollocks about Pokemon dreams and there was a weird series of forest doors that led back to one another, like some sort of Shakesperian farce, only with none of the sex.
Once I finally found my way out I went to the bottom part of the Entralink area and found what was, in fairness, it's most redeeming factor; the exit teleport.
Now, looking at the map suggests to me that a HUGE area has been surrendered to this project by whoever runs the Unova Region. For my money, that was a huge error. This could have been used for another couple of cities, a couple more gyms, maybe some bloody challenges left over for exploration once I've found the Seven Sages and completed the main game? I mean geez. What a big waste of time. The whole thing was symptomatic of Pokemon Black & White's over-complicated add-ons, extras and gadgetry. If you're going to do something this overly elaborate, do it properly instead of offering so little reward, eh?
Truly, the Entralink makes splash look like hyper-beam.
No comments:
Post a Comment